It’s him- not you

SO the past few weeks i’ve realized you are getting bigger. You are still my little girl, but one of these days- i need to explain this to you.  I don’t know what questions you will have. But this is it…

No, he is not your father. He is the guy who accepted you, and loved you as if you were his own. He went to extremes to make sure you live a normal life. Yes you have had a love hate relationship, and deep down you have grown a fear for him. You’ve learned him so much and he changed so much, because of you.

Your real father never wanted to be apart of your live. Not because of who or what you are, but because of what and who he was. Why i loved him those years- I really can’t explain. Maybe I was rebellious. Maybe i saw a light in his darkness. But from that mistake of me loving him, came you- and for you I will do it all again.

He decided he would be a bad example or not good enough father, so instead of being a father he trusted me enough to be both. Lucky for me i met your new father and he had the qualities a real father should have.

Maybe he will change his mind before you ask to many questions. I cant make promises on his behalf, but know everything worked out without him. Your live have been truly blessed so far.

It warms my heart to see how much you love and respect your new father. It makes me laugh when you irritate each other and you both play stubborn.

A father is the man who raised and loved you… the one you have respect for.

Our lives need fathers, good, honest and strong fathers. Why do some men feel its not for them? Do they realize what they have missed? I think they do- and its something they cant go back on.

I hope with my heart my you will never feel the pain i felt when he rejected the choice to be a father. It broke me and you must have shared the pain in my womb.

So I need to explain the pain you might have in your little heart when you grow up. Maybe then you will not fall to the broken side of life.

xoxo

 

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One comment on “It’s him- not you

  1. auwhee… dit is nou mooi.

    Like

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